Treasures

My two little loves -

My, what a couple of weeks it has been. We have all been so sick and have done so very little I almost think cabin fever is seriously starting to get to me.

I have been thinking a lot about what else to write to you two. I suppose I am under no pressure or guidelines and can simply say whatever I like. I keep thinking this is such a stupid idea (Anja, 3-year-old you would tell me "Mom, that isn't a nice word! We don't say that word!") and then I think it is a wonderful idea and I go back and forth.

I thought it would be more therapeutic for me than it is proving to be. I realize the more candid I am, the more, I fear, you will have to judge me on. At this point, I'm assuming that by the time you get to reading this, if ever, I will have done a great job raising you and our relationships will be strong and good and all the mistakes my parents made I have never made. I do that absolute best I can to be a good mommy to you little ones. I hope I will have done a wonderful job.

Quinny, you are running around like a mad man. You have just taken off and me and Daddy just look at each other when you are toddling out of the room and snicker at one another. You are just too cute with your protrusive little belly and that distinctive falling-from-foot-to-foot walk you have taken to.

Anja, today, you and I organized a couple of shelf bins full of hair stuff and other random treasures. I put together a little pouch of trinkets that include a few shiny rocks, a few river rocks you found, a button, a couple of Jade turtle figurines Mana and Papa brought back from Peru? Ecuador? I can't remember...anyway, a button, a bouncy ball and a few other random things. While Daddy went skiing, you played with them the entire time he was gone. You emptied it out, lined up your treasures, stared at them, thought, pondered, and then loaded them back into the pouch. You did this over and over and over again. I have never seen you focus on something other than a movie for this long before. I tried asking you why you liked doing it so much but I don't even think you were sure. I will try and ask you again tomorrow.

Love you both more than the moon,

Mama