I'm moved by music...your Grampaw instilled this in me at a very young age. I associate certain music to different times of my life. Tonight, I found myself listening to this great group called Little Dragon while I leafed through tiny wallet-sized photos from Grampaw and Nonnie's wedding, a long-forgotten memory that has been shuffled under the rug among other memories from that era. Who knows what will be of Little Dragon by the time your read this but if they still exist or you have access to their music, take a listen. We love to have dance sessions to Little Dragon and now, a fellow who goes by Toro y Moi. Just some more obscure musical expression your mama likes to indulge in.
The mood they invoke is a dreamy, reminiscent, if not a little melancholy mood that I often slip into when I think about what went wrong with your Grampaw and Nonnie. You've been protected so from this dynamic which I am glad about. There's no volatility anymore but there are indentations where years of resentment and maybe even hatred have weighed down.
The other day, I witnessed a fight between our neighbors who are going through an extremely volatile break up and there are, of course, children involved. And what bothered me most was that they were present while their parents thoughtlessly fought and screamed and cursed and didn't have any regard for their little minds that don't understand why their parents have so much hate for one another. This is something I experienced regularly as a child and something I am so very happy to say never happens to you two.
Your daddy and I love each other so much. We feel so blessed to have found each other and to have been blessed with you two. No words could ever express how much we adore you and want you to have the best lives you can possibly have.
Love you,
Mama
